In which I examine my soul and come up with 2014 Resolutions…
I’m at a weird point in my timeline right now and my resolutions feel tricky. I just read a post about how it would be more effective to visualize changing your identity to ensure that your New Year’s Resolutions will stick.
So at first, it made a lot of sense. I’ve defined my identity over the course of my lifetime many times. “I’m a good friend.” “I’m a survivor.” “I’m gonna eat like a dinosaur.” But this time feels different. I have no clear path to reinvention. In my case, the scope of that article is just too narrow because for once in my life, what I look like next year doesn’t matter to me. And it doesn’t hold up on a larger scale because it doesn’t account for race and gender privileges.
So my practical thoughts about resolutions this year don’t revolve around the size of my ass, the size of my bank account, the size of my friends list, or the size of my family. I’m concerned about the size of my heart, the size of my will, the size of my impact.
What am I really made of?
Will I ever get off this sofa, and if I don’t get off this sofa, will I be able to make the kind of impact in my community that will fill me up? Will I put my big thoughts into action? Will I write from my heart, will my heart be in the right place? Will I go gently or will I be fierce, and will I know when to be which?
So, I resolve at this point in the calendar, whether it be arbitrary or not, that I will:
Do something that is meaningful.
I will, with intention, create something.
In all things, I will search my heart honestly.
I will ask Matt what to do if I’m not sure, even if it’s scary to admit when I have lost my way.
When I am frustrated, outraged, or disappointed, I will try to be still.
I would like to look back next year and see that at some points or all, I have lived with intention, meaning, creativity, and truth.
Happy New Year, I love you.
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